The Loony Roommate Diffusion
by Nyte Quill
Summary: Leonard finally snaps. That is all. My first BBT fic; be gentle. Mild spoilers for the Itchy Brain Simulation. Rated T to be safe, because it's funny but this is dark.


Amy watched the scene unfolding before her with an appropriate level of concern and rapidly escalating alarm. Leonard's face was a shade not unlike his sweater, and Sheldon's sudden explanation that it had all been mostly unnecessary and primarily for his own amusement was the final straw. He snapped like a high tension steel cable in a shoddy amusement park ride.

Aware that his hands were now moving of their own accord, Leonard was still surprised to discover shredded shards of cherry red wool fibers in his clenched claws as the remnants of the figurative hair shirt (no wonder stuff like that was used for mortification of the flesh) flew into the waste bin. The blissful rush of cool air on his swollen and tortured skin was swift, as was the realization his hands were now gripping something spongy and that somewhere far in the distance he heard a high pitched keening sound. His face screwed up in an almost infantile expression of confused deliberation as he attempted to will his brain to logically sort out the bizarre input currently funneling in from his environment.

After a few deep breaths, he became cognizant of his name being called amidst the siren-like noise in the background, and some kind of wet gurgling hiss, like popcorn being ground in a garbage disposal. Looking down, he was amazed to see the scrawny birdlike neck of his ever annoying housemate firmly grasped in his fingers, and nearly lifeless bulging eyes fixed in a mottled purplish visage. His thumbs had landed squarely on Sheldon's trachea, and with a determinative burst of resolution he jammed down hard, crushing his larynx and ending his life with a satisfying _pop!_

Releasing the corpse of his demented tormentor along with a deep exhalation, Leonard continued refocusing his world view until he regarded the still shrieking form of Sheldon's "girlfriend" Amy, cowering behind the butcher block with a look of terrified disbelief on her face. Unsure what could have upset her so, Leonard decided to let it lie until he'd soaked thoroughly in a bathtub of ice, hydrocortisone ointment and lidocaine. He'd offer her a hot beverage when he got out.

* * *

**3 Weeks Later**

The verdict in the Loony Roommate Diffusion case has been handed down. Dr. Leonard Hofstadter, locally referred to as Homicidal Hofstadter by some and Our Hero by others, was accused of brutally slaying his roommate, noted physicist and celebrity stalker Sheldon Cooper, in a fit of rage brought on by prolonged abuse and mental cruelty at the hands of Dr. Cooper. At various times, members of the physicists' shared circle of friends were called to take the stand, both against Hofstadter and in his defense. His mother, Dr. Beverly Hofstadter, was called as an expert hostile witness for the prosecution, but since she was more moved by the loss of her sole confidant and tea companion than by the predicament her son faced, she ultimately swayed the jury to her son's side.

Dr. Hofstadter was found not guilty, by reason of mental disease or defect. While the jury contended he is unlikely to be a danger to anyone with the possible exception of his mother, the defendant was still sentenced to 1 year in a psychiatric care facility and 2500 hours of therapy. Leonard was attended in the courtroom by his devoted girlfriend, groupie and struggling actress, Penny Nolastname, who has promised to visit him faithfully in custody so long as it doesn't interfere with her filming schedule, as she recently secured a deal to play herself in a Lifetime Movie-of-the-Week about the ordeal.

**Author's Note: My first ever Big Bang fic, and I know. It's dark. But my emotional reaction to the Itchy Brain Simulation was a ****_tad_**** extreme, and this seemed the safest alternative to dealing with it.**

**Hope you liked it. Whether you did or not, let me know. Please read and review, and as always, enjoy!**


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